No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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