I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need to calm my uterus...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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