How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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