Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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