I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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