I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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