they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize