I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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