So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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