puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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