So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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