Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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