what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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