porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize