I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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