Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize