I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize