I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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