i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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