Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize