What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
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What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize