whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize