he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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