I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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