fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize