my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
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Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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