ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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