I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
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I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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