What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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