she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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