He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize