Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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