just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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