So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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