Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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