If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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