I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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