just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
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Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want to fling myself into the sun
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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