Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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