I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize