Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
only if we run a train.
done.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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