turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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