So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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