one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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