she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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