Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I use my feet as sexual weapons
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize