im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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