my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize