Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize