I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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