if i can run in heels then i can drive
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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