im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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