He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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