okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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